


a new way to torment shizuo heiwajima

by soriharaaa



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oneshot, Shizaya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soriharaaa/pseuds/soriharaaa
Summary: Izaya was so close to giving up on the tactics that will torture his dear Shizuchan when he remembers how horrible pick up lines are. Will his new method work against Shizu-chan?
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	a new way to torment shizuo heiwajima

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this is new but I mean it's good practice for bigger projects that'll happen soon :)

"I should try a new method on my dear Shizuchan~~~ I'm sure he needs a little break from all those gangs." Izaya spun in his chair thinking of new and exciting ways to make his favorite monster angry. Izaya wanted to make Shizuo far angrier than before. He thought of countless things he could do to torture Shizuo. A few things consisted of cutting up all of Shizuo's bartender outfits but Izaya wanted MORE. Something so much more traumatizing. Then he remembered Shinra and it suddenly clicked. He would mentally torture Shizuo with the WORST pick up lines he could think of and with Shinra's horrible pick up lines the plan was perfect. Just then Izaya started to text Shinra for pick up lines that the insane doctor thought were good. Izaya then began to laugh like the madman that he was. He looked at the LONG list of pickup line options and was prepared to go full-on out for his Shizu-chan. The face Shizuo would make when he faces Izaya's new method of torture would be worth it.

~a few hours later~

Izaya had prepared and memorized the worst pickup line that Shinra had mentioned. Izaya was so excited to make Shizuo torture with Shinra's pick up lines. Shizuo then appeared in Izaya's field of vision. "Oh, this is gonna be so good" Izaya mentally prepared himself. "IIIZAAAAAAYAAAAAA WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE IN IKEBUKURO?!?! YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO SHOW YOUR FLEA SELF WOW YOU GOT SOME NERVE." Shizuo then noticed that Izaya hadn't taken out his knife but instead pulled out a rose so red it was hypnotizing. "Jesus could turn water into wine but I can change your last name to mine." Shizuo was dumbfounded. It wasn't because the pickup line was so disgustingly smooth but because Izaya's face was redder than the rose he had presented. Izaya could feel his face heat up and immediately regretted his decision. Shizuo noticed this and took the rose from Izaya's hand and then whispered to Izaya "Baby I'm no weatherman but you can expect a few inches tonight." Slowly Shizuo put his apartment key into Izaya's fur jacket while leaning in to kiss Izaya on the forehead. Izaya let out a surprised squeal and ran. His plan had backfired.


End file.
